Parents should be mindful that pressures and expectations they have for their children in sports can turn a fun activity into one that induces stress. Organized sports can be a great way for children to get active while learning important life skills such as teamwork, time management and perseverance. While parents can be involved in their children’s sports, one University of Alabama at Birmingham pediatric psychologist says that a parent who focuses too much on the outcome and mistakes made can make sports stressful and not enjoyable for their children.
Margaret Canter, Ph.D., assistant professor in the Department of Pediatrics, recommends three things parents and guardians should know to help keep sports fun for children.
Know the importance of positivity
On the walk out to the car or the car ride home after practice, Canter recommends that parents focus on things that went well or improvements they noticed instead of making corrections and talking about the negatives.
“Coaches work with kids during practice and the games; but if you want to work with your kids on things outside of those times, that is great too. Just praise their effort,” Canter said. “Praise the steps along the way to help them stick with it to reach their full potential. Focus your time and attention on things that go well.”
Know when to give advice
Games are not the time for parents to coach. Many children get nervous about games and do not need the added stress of listening to parents and coaches during the game or being worried about their parent being disappointed in how they are performing.
“During games, leave the coaching to the coaches and focus on cheering for your child and their team,” she said. “If there are things you want to work on with your kid for their sport, find a time before the next game to practice and give advice at home.”
Margaret Canter, Ph.D. Know when children need a break
Sports can demand a lot of time between practices and games or performances. Knowing the signs of burnout can help parents protect their children from being overscheduled. Indicators of burnout can include:
- Irritability
- Lack of sleep
- Relationship struggles
- Decline in grades or quality of schoolwork
“If a child is displaying any of these, it could mean a check-in on how they feel and are handling everything is needed,” Canter said. “It does not mean they have to quit, but maybe you can rearrange schedules or work ahead on schoolwork over the weekend to make playing sports and other responsibilities more manageable.”
Canter says the best predictor of success in athletics is continued participation. Sports should be fun and enjoyable for children, especially when they are young.
“Most kids who participate in sports do not get college scholarships or become professional athletes,” she said. “The goal for kids to participate in sports is to get physical activity and learn valuable life skills like teamwork, perseverance and responsibility. Be a model for your kids — they are watching how you act, how you treat others and what you say. It is important to always keep that in mind.”